Most of us have been in an intimate relationship at some point in our lives. I have yet to talk to someone who hasn’t been through some tough times in their relationship. It could be breakup or divorce, or just a relationship that is no more than a friendship where there just isn’t any passion or love.
So the question has become, what makes an intimate relationship work? Why do half of the marriages fail? What is it that is missing in most relationships today?
Let’s dig in and find out what relationship is not.
An Intimate Relationship Is Not A Place To Get
Most people think for themselves. They think in terms of their own needs and desires instead of thinking for the other person. They ask what they can get out of the relationship instead of what they are here to give. An intimate relationship is not a place to get things, it’s a place to give things.
The Other Person Is Not Meant To Complete You
Don’t expect the other person to make you feel completed. You have to be able to grow yourself instead of making your loved one responsible for it. They are not responsible for your happiness either. You need to be happy yourself before you enter into a relationship. Your happiness is your own responsibility. Once you understand this then a relationship will help enhance your quality of life and your journey of spiritual growth.
3 Pieces of Advice For A Passionate Relationship
#1. Continue Dating Your Loved One Like At The Beginning
Remember what you did and the things you said to your loved one at the beginning of the relationship that made them fall in love with you? Now do that again, and do it every day. This is one of the most overlooked aspects of any relationship. People think they don’t have to court the other person again after they are married. This is so wrong. Love is meant to grow and evolve and you need to keep doing whatever it takes to grow the romance. Here’s the number one relationship lesson I learned from Tony Robbins at DWD seminar in Australia: “If you do what you did in the beginning of your relationship, there won’t be an end.”
#2. Stop Taking Each Other For Granted
Have you noticed that when you are familiar with something for a long time, you tend to take it a little bit for granted? It can be anything in life, including your relationship. If you fall into this trap of taking your partner’s love and care for granted then stop it. This will destroy your relationship. You need to start appreciating every little thing that your partner does for you and practicing the habit of giving compliments. You have no idea how much a compliment means to the other person, especially his or her love language is “words of affirmation“.
#3. Rate Your Relationship Weekly
Now if you are running a business, would it make sense to look at your financial report at least every week so you can predict which direction it is going and what to do to improve or avoid failure? Well, the same thing goes for relationship. Make a habit of sitting down with your partner at least once a week and ask them this question:
“Based on what has happened in this week, how would you rate our relationship from 1 to 10, where 1 is very bad and needs a lot of improvement and 1o is perfect?”
If your partner say “5” or “6” or anything less than 10, ask him or her what you can do to make it 10 and do it. Your partner will do the same for you. I find this extremely helpful in making any relationship work, not just intimate ones.
Remember if want to succeed in anything, you need to keep tracking your activities and progress.
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